Lower-Back Tattoo, R.I.P.

I saw recently, in the May 2007 issue of Esquire magazine, a story called “Obits of 2007” by A.J. Jacobs. I was interested, though not sorry, to read of the passing of the lower-back tattoo:

Lower-Back Tattoo, 13, Is Dead
The trend of getting a tattoo on the lower back as an erotic decoration died February 4 inside a Safeway supermarket in Bethesda, Maryland. The cause of death was Kathleen Dawkins, a forty-eight-year-old mother of three who leaned over to get a large package of Brawny paper towels, exposing a band of Celtic characters above her ass crack to a horrified stock boy. It was thirteen. Born in 1994, the lower-back tattoo was designed to accentuate the curvature of the lower female figure. It was soon adopted by a number of influential women, including Nicky Hilton, Jessica Alba, and Christina Aguilera. Inspired by her eighteen-year-old daughter, Dawkins got her tattoo three months ago to celebrate the escrow closing of a new five-bedroom split-level home in a gated community. “I wanted to give my husband a sexy surprise,” she told friends. She also bought size-16 Paige Premium low-riding blue jeans, which she was wearing during the fatal incident.

Not a big fan of tattoos

Given my advancing age, I’m not a big fan of tattoos generally, so I appreciated receiving the following “New Rule” for 2006 by George Carlin from a student. Thanks Juliet.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it
doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass.
And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did
anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant.
You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.